Wednesday, March 30, 2011


Tanner has had MRI's done two days in a row now.  Tomorrow he has a PET Scan in the morning and then another MRI in the afternoon.

I've emailed Dr. Albritton's office to ask about doing an x-ray and possible CAT Scan of the broken left tibia (since that is what Dr. Nicholas always wants to see when checking for healing progress) but haven't heard back from them yet.  I just don't want to get to Little Rock and they pull up the tests and need something that wasn't ordered.

The nurse told me that it shouldn't take long to get all of these tests on a disk after the Radiologist reads them and then they will overnight them to Little Rock.  I asked if we should schedule our appointment for next week or the week after - but haven't had that question answered yet either.

My thinking is I should probably just go ahead and schedule for two weeks from now to allow for any unforseen delays in getting the results processed and sent to Arkansas. 

Tanner and I both are just so ready to move on to the next phase of his treatment - and our lives...

We've had some long conversations the last couple of days going back and forth from these tests and Tanner tells me that he knows our extended family has pretty much fallen apart and that he's so very sorry for any part he's played in our difficulties.  I was driving during that discussion and ended up in tears and he reached out and took my hand and said that he wants me to know that he loves me very much - and that no matter who might walk away from us -  we have each other. 

Sometimes, he's this rebellious 18 year old who drives me crazy, sometimes he's this sick young  boy who scares me to death, and sometimes he's my sweet baby boy whom I love so very much.

I told him that I still feel like he needs to make some new friends and he told me that he thought I did too (LOL).  He said that he thought it's time for both of us to make some of those changes that we've talked so much about over the last year and a half - so this Sunday we are going to go to church...  It's been a while...

There is a large nondenominational church called McKinney Bible Church that has a large youth group and several adult groups.  We've decided to give it a shot and, hopefully, it will open us both up to meeting new people.  Tanner is so outgoing, he won't have any problems at all making new friends.  I think this will be a positive step...

Dr. Albritton did tell me earlier this week that she has no worries about these tests at all.  She feels completely confident that he's still in full remission and, at this point, we need to just see if the broken tibia is going to require surgery or not.  So, no matter how rough the last couple of years have been (and it's been a roller coaster ride of emotions), we need to try and focus on the positive - and remission is about as positive as we can get.

Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed, if not changed, then it must be accepted...

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