Sunday, May 23, 2010

A sad week

Turmoil, heartache, sadness, uncertainty...

It's been a really rough week. It seems that the boy's young friend that died most likely passed because of an accidental drug overdose. I don't know for sure what happened except that he went out to celebrate someone's 21st birthday and just didn't wake up the next morning.

A lot of the young guys would mix xanax, pain pills, and alcohol. I think they didn't think it was dangerous because it wasn't "hard" drugs. Like I said, I don't really know what happened but it is just heartbreaking. I've watched the boys struggle with their pain this week and have tried to be there for them but I think they've gathered the most comfort from spending time with their friends.

We went to three days of services; a memorial service, the visitation, and a funeral. Trevor was a pall bearer and it was hard watching him walk along carrying his friend in a casket. This boy who use to spend days at our house - who use to jump on the trampoline, play ball, and go on family trips with us. He was extremely intelligent, outgoing, kind, and an all around athlete.

I sat through that funeral and I wondered how I would ever handle it if I lost one of my boys and I tell you, I just don't know if I could make it. Just the thought is almost more than I can bear. I spent some time with Kirk after the funeral. Had a long drive in the little red jeep with the wind in my hair and my legs resting on the dash. It made things a little easier. The first time I've relaxed this week.

When my brother was killed at the age of twenty, I hurt horribly -- but the pain my mother endured was unimaginable and she never recovered. Oh, she learned to live (to some degree) but she was never the same.

This family who just lost their son and brother, their lives are forever changed. Forever less than what it was and could have been.

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