I got up Saturday morning before Tanner got out of bed and went to visit one of my cousins and then, when I got back home, he was gone. I packed and left to drive up to Paris for my Aunt Tincey's 80th birthday and then today, when I arrived back home, he's been gone with Cearra.
Now I'm about to go meet a friend for dinner and maybe, when I get home, I'll see him for a few minutes before bed... If not, maybe tomorrow. Such is our life...
I went out to dinner the other night and was telling my friend, just because Tanner has cancer doesn't mean that all the other problems faced by parents of teenagers are magically erased. He and I still have our issues and he still makes decisions I don't always agree with. We are both still struggling to find our way. He's battling for independence and I'm battling to let go...
Being the parent of a teenager isn't always easy... Being a teenager isn't easy either, I know... Add the fact that he has cancer and you can multiply both of our stress levels 100 fold.
He had finals this last week and he was pretty intense... I'm "me", with all that entails, and I was pretty stressed too. It wasn't a very good week for either one of us.
We've agreed that, in order to facilitate him getting on his feet sooner, he's going to consider going to a technical school this next semester where he can become Microsoft Certified after completing a nine month program. I think I'm going to ask for an afternoon off this next week to take him over to visit with the school and see what we would need to do to get him started. I told him he can still continue with his basic courses at TCC, but with this program he can, hopefully, find a job that he will be able to maintain with all of his health issues - making more than minimum wage at some fast food place.
He's ready to move on with his life and have an opportunity to move out of my house and we've decided to focus on getting him, hopefully, independent within the next year's time (he will be twenty in April and is ready to get out from under his mom's thumb) and I would like to put my house up for sale and find a small apartment for myself. He's ready to become independent and I'm ready to downsize and simplify.
I'm just so glad that he's remained in remission so that he has a chance to fulfill these dreams of independence. Two and a half years ago, we didn't know if he was going to have an opportunity to "move on with his life" and become an independent young man.
The birthday party for my Aunt Tincey was a lot of fun - and she was very surprised! I was able to see lots of family I haven't seen in years so I'm glad I took the opportunity to attend!
I don't know what Tanner and I would have done all those months in Arkansas without Aunt Tincey, Julie, and her kids!!
Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering... Paulo Coehlo