The boys and I had Christmas with Granny Jane and Pop Jerry and some extended family on Friday. Yesterday afternoon Trevor came in from Weatherford and he, I, Tanner, and Cearra all had our Christmas lunch and exchanged gifts. Then last night I went out for a drink and a few laughs and unwound from the day.
Today I'm cooking and preparing for one more Christmas tonight and then things should settle down and I can start focusing on the new year.
Now then, on to the news... Tanner has moved out and is living with his girlfriend's family. Their home is just about five miles from my house but his leaving is an adjustment for me - some good and some bad - but an adjustment all the same.
As Dr. Albritton told me, there is no one more at risk than the young adult with cancer. They have cancer and then they also have all the same issues as other young adults - and very, very often they fall through the cracks. We are doing our best to make sure Tanner doesn't fall through the cracks.
Next Thursday we have one last visit with Dr. A at Cook's Oncology and then he's being transitioned over to the adult practice at Texas Oncology.
As much as I love Cook's and Dr. Albritton, I think it's going to be a good thing to move Tanner to the adult practice. They have never treated a patient with Multiple Myeloma at Cook's and, quite often, don't seem to understand what Tanner is dealing with much of the time in regards to the spasms he has in his back and hip.
After Christmas at Granny Jane and Pop Jerry's on Friday, Tanner went to the mall with Cearra and her mom and later he texted me that he was going to stay in (at their house - I guess his new home right now) because his back was hurting. Yesterday after we had our lunch and had opened our gifts, Cearra told me that while they were at the mall Tanner's back started spasming so badly he started crying and could hardly stand straight. She said that it scared her to death.
Dr. A is so focused on Tanner not falling back into his pattern of addiction to the pain medications, sometimes his pain isn't dealt with at all. She once told me, "He's going to have to deal with it because I'm not going to prescribe him pain medications". I'm hoping at an adult practice, a treatment can be settled on that will ease his pain - while controling the chance of falling back into a pattern of addiction.
Like I said, it's not easy being being a parent. Being a parent of a young adult with cancer is a far cry from "easy"... but I'm dealing.
He's texted or called every day since he's moved out and I'm becoming used to him not being here. I'm slowly working on building a life for myself outside of taking care of my sons.
I can only do the best I can do - but I can't control anyone... Sometimes not even myself. I'm working on accepting that things are the way they are and simply enjoy the moments that are good - and not worry about the bad until they actually arrive.
Life is life... good and bad... Enjoy the good while you can and try not to worry about the bad before it actually occurs.
So... Merry Christmas to us all. Here comes a new year.
To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return you will receive untold peace and happiness... Robert Muller