Tanner's Journey: Good Days and Bad

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Good Days and Bad

Good days and bad days... heck, good moments and bad moments... that's my life right now - and for most of the past two and a half years.

I'm getting stronger every day and learning to let go of worrying about things I can't control. I'm learning to get out of my own mind and actually participate in the world around me... At least that's what I'm trying to do.

I went to bed the other night and, as usual, that's when my mind really kicks into gear and the thoughts started going around and around in my head. Thoughts about some issues in my own personal life, Tanner - his life and cancer, Trevor - and all we've been through with him, my family that has slipped away - and I found myself curling into a fetal position with the weight of it all. Why do we curl up like a baby when we are in pain?

But... today is another day and I'm alive, Tanner is alive, Trevor is alive and we are all going to be okay today... Tomorrow will take care of itself... and tomorrow we head back to Dallas to see Dr. Berryman.

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel"... Carl W. Buechner

1 comment:

UnknownFriday, December 02, 2011
Angie: I'm not sure why my first comment didn't post.....gotta' love blogspot!!

I know exactly how you feel....there are times, when I go to bed, I wish that I had a "turn off switch" for all those thoughts that keep circling.

Can't wait to hear the report from Dr. B.

Hugs from MS to TX.....
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Recap

One summer day in 2009 my 17 year old son, Tanner Walker, decided to go swimming at a friend's house. While walking across the yard, his left leg collapsed and his tibia snapped completely in two.

Of course we were upset and worried that afternoon when I rushed him to the Emergency Room but I have to admit that the thought of cancer never entered our minds until the doctor came back into the room and told us "There's no easy was to say this other than just say it. There is a tumor in the bone".

They put Tanner in a splint and sent us home and over the next two weeks he saw several doctors who told us it "might be cancer - or it might be nothing" and eventually surgery was performed to repair the break and a biopsy was taken.

After the procedure, the surgeon came out and told us that the good news was that it wasn't cancer - but the bad news was that they didn't know what it was.

Two weeks later, my cell phone rang and it was the doctor wanting to speak to me and explain that they had found a Pathologist who had, finally, diagnosed the lesion as Multiple Myeloma. Can you imagine? I was at work and at that very moment my world, my son's world, our family's world - were all forever changed.

After a full body scan was performed Tanner was found to have hundreds - "innumerable"- lesions in the bones throughout his body and the Oncologist told me (privately) that at the stage he was at, he most likely only had two years to live.

Luckily, we were referred to the Myeloma Institute for Research and Therapy at UAMS in Little Rock Arkansas where Tanner underwent some of the most aggressive treatment available including chemotherapy and two stem cell transplants. Now, over three years later, he remains in full remission.

He receives maintenance treatment here locally and is back to living the life of a young man... A young man with Multiple Myeloma.

Tanner's Journey

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Good Days and Bad

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