We left for Arkansas on Friday at 5:30 a.m. and drove straight to UAMS for our 11:30 appointment with Dr. Nicholas.He pulled up the CAT scan on the disk that we brought for him and said things looked pretty good. There is a small spot that isn't closed up and he pressed on the tibia where the break is and Tanner told him that was where it hurt (and is the spot where Tanner could see the bone move). The doctor said that where the opening is, the bone scrapes against muscle but that he thinks things have improved greatly since we were in his office six months ago and that we've "waited it out to where surgery isn't going to be necessary".
He told Tanner to just be careful and wear the leg brace when he's outside and active to protect the bone. I asked him if that meant Tanner should wear it when he is out in the front yard playing football. Dr. Nicholas gave him this shocked look, and asked "have you been playing football??". Tanner laughed and said he's just been playing catch. Dr. Nicholas said, yes that he should definitely wear the brace when he's playing catch and for us to come back in six months to have another look.
It was a long day and we were exhausted - but the news was good. Tanner can now go on with his life without worrying about the possibility of surgery... School... A job... A more complete life...Now we just see what Dr. Barlogie has to say in the morning when we see him.
The rest of the weekend has been spent with Aunt Tincey, Julie, Trenity, and Alston. The kids have been gone most of the day down on the river riding four wheelers and Tanner has had a blast! It's been like a mini-vacation.
These last couple of days spent with family just relaxing and having fun were very much needed by both of us. Tanner had a bad day on his birthday and was in a really low mood. We spent a few hours at the hospital for his CAT Scan and had a lot of time together in the waiting room. We were talking about a lot of things going on in our family, our future, and his illness when he looked at me and said "Mom, I have a terminal illness". I told him that he couldn't think like that - and that I know it's hard not to dwell on the fact that there's no cure - that I also have a hard time. I said that both of us need to think about the fact that Dr. Barlogie has patients who have been in remission for over twenty years and that as young as he is, there's no telling how long he could live.
He says things to me sometimes that break my heart. We both live in fear and have to work at keeping it at bay. Some days (many days) are harder than others... His birthday was one of "those" days.
After the CAT Scan we met my cousin at Mexican Inn and Tanner was talking and ended up in tears - but after dinner he pulled out of the depression and things have been better. He has really enjoyed the time here with our family in Benton this weekend. It's been a good break for him.I'll be sure to update and let you know what Dr. B has to say tomorrow!!
"Tears are words the heart can't express."
Angie, I can't imagine how difficult this is as a mother and for a teenager. My husband could break my heart with how he was feeling about such things and patience in recovery is so very hard for someone who has lived a much more seasoned and mature life than poor Tanner has had the opportunity to. For him to be able to put in context at his age and stave off the things that our appropriate for a young man his age is just brutal for me to even conjure up. I continue to be impressed with your caregiving and being a MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE! Tanner is so lucky to have you and he is very impressive himself. You are all in my daily prayers.
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