Happy Thanksgiving - 2010

Happy Thanksgiving.

The boys are gone this evening and I've made the broccoli salad and the no bake cookies.  I've got the plates, cups, forks, and napkins all ready to go.  Everthing is ready for the big meal tomorrow and I've taken my Tyelnol P.M. and am waiting to crash.

Tanner is at a concert with his girlfriend and her dad.  He seems to be doing really well lately.  Of course, I worry about him at a concert on his crutches but when I said something to him he said that he could sit and things would be fine.  I hope so.

I was going stir crazy at the house tonight.  I couldn't settle down to read or watch a movie so I went out for a drive.  Let's just say it didn't make things any better.

My heart is aching at this moment and I'm just worn out from my internal turmoil.  I've been thinking about Thanksgiving and what all I have to be thankful for.  It seems that, no matter how I might moan here on the blog (so sorry), I do have a lot to be thankful for:

In December Tanner will have been in remission for a year.  He tolerates his maintenance chemo well and seems to be doing great in his personal life lately.  Thankful?  Thankful doesn't describe the depth of my feelings for this fact...

Trevor has been doing well lately also and has a possible job opportunity and is supposed to call the man back next week after the holidays to "get the ball rolling".  My grandson, Beckett, turned two today and is a sweetheart.  I haven't seen my granddaughter Kayleigh in a while but she turns three in December.  She too is a sweetheart and I hope to see her soon.  I have wonderful friends; Donna (she's been with me through it all), Sandy (who remains a true friend no matter how much time passes between visits), and Kelsey (a wonderful mother to my grandson who has become an essential friend to me) just to name a few and their wonderful families whom I've also grown close to over these many years.

I'm thankful for my brother Terry and his wife Cathy and my nephews Dewane and Myles.  I'm grateful for my niece TD and for all of my great nieces and nephews.  Though I might not see them often, I love them all.

I'm thankful for my Uncle Little Boy and his wife Suzy, my Aunt Onvie, and all my cousins (even though I don't get to see them very often anymore) and I'm so thankful for my Aunt Tincey and her kids and grandkids in Arkanas.  They open their home to us every time we return for Tanner's tests and always make us feel so at home.

I'm thankful for MIRT and Dr. Barlogie for taking such good care of Tanner this last year and working so hard to save his life.  Just writing this sentence is so inadequate.  There are no words to describe my thankfulness for Dr. Barlogie and the staff at UAMS.

I'm thankful for Shirley, Tom, Harris, Anastasia, John, and Lauren who all became very special friends while we spent those long six months in Little Rock while Tanner, Harris, Shirley, and John underwent their treatment.  You can't get through those times without friends like these.

I'm thankful for my boy's grandmother Jane and grandfather Jerry for loving us so and always being there for us.  I'm thankful for their Dad, stepmother, and grandfather for loving the boys no matter what.

I'm thankful for my job and the people I work with. Pat, Bruce, Alicia, and all my agents - again there are just no words adequate to express my appreciation for all you've done for me and Tanner this last year.

I'm thankful to Traci and her family and also Big Granny and Aunt Judy - and all the family on that side who have supported Tanner and I this last year.

I've saved them for last...  Probably because they are so very essential to me and my survival.  I am so thankful to my Aunt Gerry and her kids Kathy, Kirk, Kevin, Joan, Bobby and Diana.  They took me in over twelve years ago when my life drastically changed and have taken care of me and my boys ever since.  I'm thankful also for all their kids who have become like my own, Jesse, Rebecca, Iris, Eva, Kelson, Brian, Linda, Brennan, Stephen, and Beth (the daughter of my heart).  I love them all...

I'm thankful that, though time doesn't erase, it does heal...

So, Happy Thanksgiving to all of you...

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."