Mr. Walker

I took Tanner to Texas Oncology last Friday for his 12:30 p.m. appointment for labs and chemo and the receptionist told him that they had him down for a 2:00 p.m. appointment.  I told her, "No, huh uh. Not this time, his appointment is at 12:30" and explained that I had the appointment card myself. This is the second week in a row that we've gotten there and they've told Tanner that his appointment was at a different time than he was told. She asked me if I had the appointment card to prove what time we were told and I ended up calling work and having one of the ladies take a picture of the card. The receptionist took it back to triage and they went ahead and took Tanner back for his chemo.  We ended up being there for about 1-1/2 hours.  I guess we'll keep the appointment cards with us when we go to the appointments since they seem to have a hard time keeping track of the actual times.

Other than the issues over the appointment times for his first two visits, he seems to like going to the new Oncology Center.  They came to the doors and called out for "Mr. Walker" and Tanner went back by himself.  When he came out he was laughing and said that they called "Mr. Walker" back behind the curtains and him and an older man both went.  He told the older man he could have the chair and when the nurse came in she asked the old man where he wanted his shot and the guy started pulling his pants down.  Tanner told her he wanted his in the stomach and she said "Wait a minute. You two aren't together?" Come to find out they were both Robert Walker and were both having chemo on the same day. Tanner said he was glad that the man had on his "tighty-whities". LOL!

He stepped on and broke the screen of his cell phone last week so we've been out of touch for most of the weekend.  Sunday is the first day that I can ever remember that we haven't communicated with each other at all.  He came over last night to get his replacement phone and he and Cearra both seem to be really happy. She's loving cosmotology school - Tanner's loving her - and not living at home (it seems). He was telling me that he got a job with Cearra's sister and that it's selling some kind of air cleaner and humidity systems in people's houses. I was trying to tell him how nearly impossible those types of jobs are but he was going on and on about how they pay you a salary even if you don't sell anything. I figure, if nothing else, it will be a good learning experience for him - and maybe something he can put on a resume later.  Most times, they just have to learn on their own.  At least he's outgoing and not as introverted as his mother. I would have never even considered such a job in a million years.

Monday he's scheduled for his bone survey and we are both anxious to see the results since he hasn't had one perfomed since he was first diagnosed in August, 2009.  At that time he had hundreds of lesions all throughout his body. His whole skeletal frame lit up nearly all black. It will be interesting to see how he looks after 2-1/2 years of chemo.  Hopefully, it will look much clearer than the original scans taken when they first discovered the cancer.

Myself, I'm hanging in there.  It's an adjustment being on my own.  Some days I'm okay, and some days I'm not. Some days I realize the benefits - and some days I struggle deciding which way my future needs to head...

Time doesn't always heal; it just breathes and swallows memories like the seasons change - sending showers; beating flowers into the mud. And nothing is forever in this place. Nothing but the way my heart fits into your hands; the held breath of hope.