We had a really busy day - but Tanner is feeling better.

We went at 8:30 a.m. for the bone marrow aspiration and they took the draws from the left side. Tanner did much better this time (the right side REALLY hurt when they drew from there on Monday) but the RN said there were very few spicules -and they ended up having to go into the bone three times. The nurse explalined that another problem is that his count is low any way since his cancer is destroying the bone and now that they have drawn bone marrow four times in the last three weeks, they aren't able to get much aspirated. He just needs some time for his body to recover from all of these aspirations. There were no tears from either Tanner or myself this time, but I might end up with a few bruises from where he was holding my arm and hand.

After the bone marrow we went over to the Cancer Institute and they hooked him up to the chemo medications. He carries them around in a little 10 lb satchel and we will have to go to the Center every day at 11:30 a.m. and have the bag changed out and some lab work drawn. They said this form of chemotherapy will be easier on Tanner's body since he won't be given masses of the medications all at one time but will rather receive them more slowly over a period of 24 hours. They said he will end up with the same dosage of medication as the other patients but will just receive them at a slower pace that will be easier on his system. In addition to the chemotherapy, he will have to take about twenty three pills each day. I told him we need to get one of those huge weekly pill containers so we can keep up with them all.

With the impatience of youth, Tanner told them "just hit me with it" so he can go ahead and get this all over with. I told him he had to trust that the doctors know what is best for him and his treatment. I have to believe that some of Tanner's wanting them to "hurry" the treatment is that he worries about the expense of us having to live in Arkansas and maintain a home in Fort Worth.

I try to get him not to worry about the financial side of all of this, but I can tell he does. When we found out that one of the medicines was a "special" medication that our insurance required us to pay 30% (which totaled $900), I thought he was going to start crying. I told him to just not worry about it and I would go and get my credit card and just put it on there, luckily the pharmacist told us they were willing to set us up on a payment plan and Tanner settled down. I try to shield him from a lot of the financial side of all of this because I know that he worries, but sometimes he's right beside me when something like this comes up. After that, the doctor's office called and said they couldn't get the insurance company to commit to treatment, so they wanted me to come by the office and sign that I would be financially responsible for whatever the insurance doesn't pay. I had to explain to Tanner that I filed insurance for years and that this was a common practice whenever insurance is going to be filed. All of these medical issues and treatments are hard enough for Tanner to handle so I try to keep him focused on that and tell him that no matter what, he's going to get the treatment he needs and not to worry about anything else. That's what I'm trying to do myself. As long as we can get Tanner well, everything else will work out.

After the chemo appointment, we went to see the orthopedic surgeon so he could check out the x-rays for the lesion in the right hip. When he saw the huge cast on Tanner's left leg, he wanted to know why we didn't have it x-rayed also so he could check out the healing progress. We had to go back downstairs and have the left leg x-rayed too. He told us he would really like to put a nail in the right hip where the lesion is so big because he's afraid that area might break, especially now that they have started chemotherapy, but he doesn't think Tanner can undergo surgery at this time. He told Tanner that for the next month unless we are in the apartment, he wants him to stay in the wheelchair. He doesn't want him going into restaurants or stores or anything on his crutches. He's hoping that we can keep the bone from breaking and that with treatment the lesions will mostly heal on their own. He made us an appointment to come back in a month and wants to take the cast off the left leg at that time and put him in a, hopefully, shorter cast.

All in all, it's been a much better day. Now we just wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Rough. That's the word. I would say that our day has been a rough one.

They gave Tanner a dose of melphalan yesterday and it was really rough on him. He's been sick to his stomach and vomitting (and has had hiccups all day). It was not good timing for him to have to endure the placement of the line in his chest but they inserted it this afternoon. So now, not only is he sick and hurting in his right hip from the bone marrow the other day, he's also now hurting in his chest.

Both of these initial doses -- the valcade and the melphalan -- have just been trial doses to see how Tanner's marrow reacts to the drugs. The real chemotherapy begins tomorrow.

We are going to start the day with another bone marrow aspiration at 8:30 a.m., followed by chemotherapy, followed by the appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. I just hope he's not throwing up again. It's not fun for him to be wheeled around in his wheel chair having to stop so that he can be sick, much less the time spent in waiting rooms.

We have been told that the chemotherapy that Tanner is going to undergo is one where they will hook a satchel of the drugs up to one of his lines and he will wear it for 24 hours. The nurses assure us that this will be less stressful on Tanner's body than having it dripped into him via IV over a period of 5-6 hours at the infusion center.

This week has been pretty stressful with the fact that the doctor's office hasn't been communicating with us what our appointments for each day are going to be. Tanner and I will go to the hospital for what we think is going to be one or two appointments, only to have a nurse at the hospital tell us we have other procedurs that Tanner needs to do. Then they have to call the doctor's office and check and then we spend hours (I mean anywhere from four to six hours) waiting on the doctor's office to get the correct orders over to the hospital.

I don't know what is going on with this lack of communication. By today, Tanner and I both were expressing our frustration to the nuses at the infustion center that we have been the ones who have had to ask the doctor's office what has been planned every day - and then have to wait on them to get it ordered - rather than the doctor's office ordering the tests and procedures and letting us know the schedule.

The nurse at the doctor's office called me this evening and told me she had heard we have had a bad day and wanted me to know that after this week, things won't be so hectic and they will have Tanner on a schedule. I truly hope so.

She went on to ask about his nausea and told me that she would call him in some nausea medications and wanted to know where I wanted to pick them up. I told her since I was grocery shopping (for bland food) at WalMart, could she call it in there. She said she would and wanted to know which one. I told her the cross streets of the WalMart close to the apartment and she called back and left a message that the meds had been ordered. I went to the pharmacy and they said no meds had been called in and that she must have called it in to the WalMart about ten miles down the road. I went to that WalMart and still no prescriptions. They got on the computer and said they couldn't find a prescription for Tanner at any of the Little Rock WalMarts.

The PA at Dr. Barlogie's office gave me his cell phone number and by this time I was in tears and called and left a message informing him that Tanner is throwing up and had been all day and I don't know what pharmacy they have called Tanner's medications to. Of course, I haven't heard back from anyone and now Tanner is just going to have to make it through the night without the nausea meds. We do have some Ativan which, though a nerve pill, does help with nausea. He took one before bed so hopefully he will have a good night.

You can already see the "look" on Tanner's face (if you click on Tanner's picture above, you can see the look I'm talking about). That look you see on the other chemotherapy patient's faces all over the hospital, and he's only been given the trial doses of medication so far. I can only imagine how hard this is going to be on him. Luckily, he is keeping his good spirits and told me that he knows he's going to have to hurt before he gets better.

After the initial round of vomitting in the parking garage this morning, he put his head on my shoulder and cried. He knows that worse is to come.

He told me just wait until we see Dr. Barlogie again. He wants to tell him that they need to work on their communication skills because their lack has caused what was already going to be a stressful week, to be much worse than it had to be. I know that they have a huge load, but you would think they would have a more efficient system in place.

Anyway, it's getting late and we have a full day tomorrow so I'm going to try and get some rest. I will check back in tomorrow to let you know how things are progressing.

If I ever write on here again that we are going to have a "light" day -- be sure and chuckle. Tanner and I've just come to the realization that most of the hours of our days are going to be at the hospital. We have spent all day the last couple of days at the hospital; most of that time spent just waiting on Doctor's orders.

Monday they did a dose of Velcade and waited 48 hours and today performed another bone marrow gene array. The first bone marow aspiration they performed on him last week wasn't too bad for him to endure but today was quite painful. I was sitting at the head of his bed with my face resting against his head and he would squeeze my leg and his tears would fall to the floor. The RN who perfomed the aspiration said that he thought it was so much more painful because the draws were taken on the right side of his back where his pelvis has a lot of myeloma lesions.

This afternoon they gave Tanner a dose of melphalan via IV and Friday they will do another bone marrow gene array and compare it with the other ones. The bone marrow RN told us that they would be sure to take it from the left side and see if it's less painful than today's procedure was. I went over to Dr. Barlogie's office and talked to our nurse, Marti, and she called in some pain pills and other medications that he is to take Friday morning before we go for the bone marrow. I don't want him to go through as much pain Friday as he did today if he doesn't have too.

I went to Target after we finally left the hospital to get some essentials that we will need for our stay here in Arkansas, and one of the nurses called me to tell me that Dr. Barlogie and the other doctors were looking over Tanner's MRI and Pet Scan at their weekly meeting and it was decided that since the right femur (Tanner's good leg that is not in the cast) has such a narrow margin of good bone left, they have decided to refer him to a pediatric orthapedic surgeon. She went on to explain that while undergoing chemotherapy, the bone will be even more at risk for breakage than it is now.

So, tomorrow in addition to Tanner's daily blood work, we will go for more x-rays and then on Friday, they will schedule Tanner for another bone marrow aspiration, lab work, consultation with Dr. Nicholas (orthopedist), and will put in his "line" for future chemotherapy treatments and blood draws. Needless to say, it looks like the rest of the week is going to be very busy.

Yesterday we rented a small one bedroom apartment close to the hospital. Fortunately, they don't require leases and you just rent from month to month -- and if the doctor releases Tanner to go home mid-month, they will pro-rate the rent and refund us the difference. They also told us if we get released to go home for a few weeks or a month, we can let them know and they can sub-let the apartment and we won't have to give up our claim on it.

I have to admit, it feels really good to have somewhere we can call our own (even temporarily) to go after the end of an exhausting day. This gives us a place where Tanner can relax and unwind and though small, has the comforts of a home.

I spoke to my boss, Bruce, this afternoon and he told me that many of our PIE agents have asked what they could do to help us while we are here in Little Rock, so he has gone to Bank of America and opened a fund where deposits can be made for Tanner's treatment and living expenses.

I can't tell you how much the love and support we have received from our friends and family (including my PIE family) has meant to Tanner and myself. There are just no words that can truly express how touched we have been. I don't know how we could survive this journey without all the help, love and support of everyone who has been there for us.

I find myself somtimes wondering, how this could happen to Tanner. I've always been so grateful that my sons were so healthy and then something like this comes out of the blue. We will be driving down the road and I will look over at Tanner and see the weight he has lost and think about how the chemotherapy is going to affect him; and I'm just brought to tears all over again.

I know that Dr. Barlogie and his team will be able to cure this cancer, but it's just hard as a parent to watch your child go through something like this. To watch him in pain and tears and know that there's nothing I can do but be there for him, try to take care of him, and give him all of my mother's love; it's just almost more than I can bear. I know that he's a six foot tall seventeen year old with a mohawk, but in my heart, he will always be my sweet baby Tanner.

Like I've said time and time again, as a mother I just don't have the words in me to express the fear and stress of watching what Tanner is going through. The emails, calls, and comments that we receive daily from people who truly love us is sometimes the only bright spot we have in an exhausting round of tests and treatments.

Thank you all. We love you each and every one.

hey

Hey everyone its me.. im kinda tired right now thinking of taking a nap. A while ago we ate out at a rib joint called Famous Daves.. Its was really good, especially since the waitress was real pretty. LOL at the end of the meal they have this comment form and I made it pretty clear that i thought she was cute. Even put my number on it HAHA... But anyways im goin to get off here and most likely take a nap before i eat dinner. ummm Sure smells good through the air in the house right now. So thanks again for all the love and strength you all give to me... I appreciate it so much..!!!!!!!!!!

We went to MIRT (the Myeloma Institute of Research and Therapy) today and they sent us over to the Cancer Center to start Tanner's treatment. They started him off this week with a Velcade injection. I would try to explain what Velcade does but thought the best thing to do is just cut and paste:

How does Velcade work?
Velcade is a type of cancer drug called a proteasome inhibitor. Proteasomes are enzymes found in cells and play an important role in regulating cell function and growth by controlling the breakdown of important proteins. Velcade blocks the activity of proteasomes and by blocking the proteasome, Velcade disrupts processes related to the growth and survival of cancer cells.
New data also suggest that Velcade may significantly improve bone disease in myeloma patients. Velcade's beneficial effect on bone disease appears to be independent of whether or not a patient's myeloma responds to Velcade. Furthermore, Velcade is as active and safe in patients with myeloma-related kidney damage as in patients with normal kidney function.

From what the PA and nurses told us, after just one injection of Velcade, many patients have a significant change in their cancer masses. On Wednesday, they will do another gene array and compare it to the one they did when Tanner was first seen last week. After comparing the two gene arrays, Dr. Barlogie will determine what form of chemotherapy treatment Tanner will undergo.

Dr. Barlogie didn't like it at all when I told him that Tanner and I would be staying in Benton with my aunt. He wants us closer to the hospital so the Social Worker at the hospital here found us a little one bedroom apartment (furnished). His dad, step-mom, and I (with some help from other family members - thank you Traci & Rick for helping us get started) will split the cost of the apartment and will have a place close to the hospital. From what I understand, you don't have to sign a lease and can just rent from month to month. I called the apartment center today after treatment and left a message that I feel sure we will take the apartment and would like to come and see it tomorrow morning.

Of course, they wanted to have an answer right away but I needed to talk to Tanner's dad and step-mom before committing. The social worker told me she would call them back and tell them to hold it so hopefully, I can get everything finalized tomorrow.

My aunt called me today and said that she has some seventeen year old girls who are looking forward to meeting Tanner so we are hoping that we will have time to go to Benton tomorrow.

I think Tanner having an opportunity to meet some young people while we are here and make new friends will be beneficial to his recovery.

Tomorrow is just "lab work" day so hopefully we won't be there all day like we were today and we can check out the apartment. I'll keep you all posted.

Well, Tanner and I are back in Little Rock. He's already relaxing in bed watching Pirates of the Caribbean. I guess we will know more of the specifics of the treatment he is going to go through tomorrow afternoon.

We got to see a lot of our family and friends while we were home. It was great to get to see everyone before treatment starts.

Bruce has set me up so the I can work remotely and the laptop will look like I'm sitting at my desk at work and I will have access to all my computer files. I'm very frustrated with myself because after unpacking, I see that I left the power cord to the laptop at home.

I will be making a trip to Best Buy tomorrow and hopefully will be able to get the cord I need. If not, I guess I will be asking my family to overnight it to me here.

Sigh...

Tanner, me, Janet (his step-mom), and his dad have been here in Little Rock all week and today found out we could make a quick trip home. The doctor realized there was a little procedure that needed to be taken care of before chemo starts so they have delayed treatment until Monday afternoon. Tanner wanted to get home so we jumped in the car and ran back to Fort Worth last night. I'm washing clothes and then we can pack properly and head back to Arkansas tomorrow afternoon.

This initial treatment is going to take a month and then they will see how Tanner looks at that time and decide if he can come home for a few weeks or if he needs another round of chemotherapy. Once they have "melted" all the cancer, they will start the growth hormone therapy so that his body will start producing new bone marrow and they will start aspirating and cryogenically freezing it so that they can eventually put the new baby marrow back in his body.

After looking at the Gene Array that was ran on Tanner, Dr Barlogi tells us that Tanner is low risk for the cancer to reoccur and the he can "cure" Tanner. We all know that Tanner has some rough time ahead of him with the aggressive chemotherapy that is coming, but are relieved to now have the knowledge that the doctor will be able to cure Tanner.

At this time, he's in his room playing X-Box 360 for all he's worth and said it felt good to sleep in his own bed last night. Personally, I'm still exhausted and am hoping I will sleep better tonight before getting back on the road tomorrow.

We love and appreciate you all.